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Small gurgles awaken the sea.Waves come crashing forwards then backwards. The oceans stomach growls with hunger.A rush of salty air fills the nostrils of many.Small waves come swaying towards the shore,bringing a whisper with it.The crashing and splashing cause a wave of foamy bubbles to take over.Slowly disappearing into the top layer of the mushy sand. Followed by a moment of silence. One last wave clears the ground of foamy bubbles.Waves are dragged back and forth leaving us with a refreshing sound.One deep breath is taken before jumping in.The ocean growls once more, this time louder than before.Touching the oceans bottom causes me to push myself up.A rushing noise fills my ears.Bubbles pop loudly above be.As i rise small ripples are created in the watter.A large wave comes crashing down.Smacking the ground. A sound so loud it clearly meant danger.Like a drain being unplugged the rushing sound of the oceans stomach simply disappears. silence takes over.
it captured be when you said "Small gurgles awaken the sea" because it soundes interesting.
ReplyDeletei also liked when you said "One last wave clears the ground of foamy bubbles" because it really describes it.
you describe the sound by explaining the crushing of the waves.
by putting more details.
1) Which part of their description captured you and why?
ReplyDeleteThe part that captured me the most is the way you talk about the beach. You made it feel like i was actually there, feeling the waves. You were really descriptive.
2) How did they describe their sound (what writing tools did they use?)
You really used the sense of sound when they said "The oceans stomach growls with hunger." You also used personification because you compared the ocean with a human trait. You used the way the ocean sounded to what it sounds like when people are hungry. I really liked it.
3) What could they have done to bring their sound more to life in their writing?
I think that what you did was good. I think you used what what you could use, so you did great in that. Keep it up buddyy :) (haha]